It doesn't actually take a lot to grow up, the timing just needs to be right. There have been some times where I've said, ”Ok, I've def grown up from this.”, but I wasn't fully grown up from it yet. Everyday I learn something new about myself and different things around me.
I think yesterday I fully grew out of on being selfish. While I still don't prefer to be alone, it doesn't send me into a spiraling depression like it used to. I still don't have many friends to talk to or visit but I don't cry about it anymore. I suck it up and either go out and enjoy a movie on my own or just chill in the house on my own. But the one thing that I really realized yesterday is that when the one I love the most is upset I don't think about how he isn't talking to me 24/7. I'm more concerned about him telling me how he feels and coming to me for comfort. The reason I get upset isn't because he's not giving me attention like a little spoiled girl, it's because he doesn't want to come to me when he's upset. I do understand why for some of it though, I'm somewhat of the problem. I feel as if I've definitely failed him as a girlfriend. I'm supposed to be his rock. His go to friend. The one person he can trust. If he couldn't go to anyone he should feel comfortable enough to come to me. But I've let him down. I realized that on Monday the reason I was so down was because he was unhappy. I totally forgot about my issues and was so stuck on him. I've hurt someone that I love so much. He's hurting right now and I can't do anything to help comfort him. That's what bothers me the most. I prayed for him for a while last night because I feel at least can do that for him. I am a woman who prays and prayer and God can fix anything and He's always there for us. If I can't do anything else right now, I at least owe him that.
I think yesterday I fully grew out of on being selfish. While I still don't prefer to be alone, it doesn't send me into a spiraling depression like it used to. I still don't have many friends to talk to or visit but I don't cry about it anymore. I suck it up and either go out and enjoy a movie on my own or just chill in the house on my own. But the one thing that I really realized yesterday is that when the one I love the most is upset I don't think about how he isn't talking to me 24/7. I'm more concerned about him telling me how he feels and coming to me for comfort. The reason I get upset isn't because he's not giving me attention like a little spoiled girl, it's because he doesn't want to come to me when he's upset. I do understand why for some of it though, I'm somewhat of the problem. I feel as if I've definitely failed him as a girlfriend. I'm supposed to be his rock. His go to friend. The one person he can trust. If he couldn't go to anyone he should feel comfortable enough to come to me. But I've let him down. I realized that on Monday the reason I was so down was because he was unhappy. I totally forgot about my issues and was so stuck on him. I've hurt someone that I love so much. He's hurting right now and I can't do anything to help comfort him. That's what bothers me the most. I prayed for him for a while last night because I feel at least can do that for him. I am a woman who prays and prayer and God can fix anything and He's always there for us. If I can't do anything else right now, I at least owe him that.
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