A little confused

Words can't even describe how I feel right now. I'm not sad and I'm def not happy. I just am. I'm not afraid but I'm not "ok". I don't know how to feel. It's the end of the year and Christmas is coming up and I have to get my emotions under control. It's not fair. My friend just got engaged, my brother got an awesome job, my other friends got awesome grades this semester (mine were good too, just not as good as theirs), my dad had an awesome weight loss transformation. And what do I have to show for the end of the year? Not much. I have "good" things, but nothing "great". Other than the fact that I started school. I just want to be happy with my boyfriend. I want to be able to talk to him and laugh and joke. Tell him that I miss him and hear him tell me he misses me, too. I want to be held by him and hear him tell me he loves me. I want to play video games with him. I don't have to get engaged, I just want to be with my boyfriend and I feel like I can't even do that now and it's about to get worse. Why can't I just wake up and all this be a dream?

Annoyed

So I'm pretty disappointed in the people down here. I can't seem to find a great bunch of reliable people to hang out with. One week we'll be on it and have a lot of fun and then the next week they won't be anywhere to be found for a couple of weeks. I'm a student, intern, and an employee and I still make time to call or try and hang out with people. There are times when I just want to call people and just talk but no one picks up their phone. Sometimes, like tonight, I want to go to the movies but there's no one to go with so I'll more than likely go by myself. I'm glad I'm able to at least do that on my own now. I remember when I wasn't comfortable enough to go out on my own. No girl or guy friend is no where to be found. Now I will admit that I have classmates are available but they want to go out and drink and go to a club. I just really don't want to be around that type of environment right now. I'm not in the mood. I even invited people to come over and play video games with me on my Kinect. Maybe that'll happen later? I just hate that when I do have people I can hang out with they're doing things I definitely don't want to do. I don't want to go out to a club. Especially with my half marathon 2 days away. I already don't feel prepared due to sucky weather. I've been afraid to do any training because I didn't want to be sore on Sunday, smh. I'm disappointed is all. Am I being too picky with friends and who I hang out with? I don't know.

Some compliments wouldn't hurt every once in a while

Vent

So I guess I have to find a way not to run off emotional at all for the next 2 years. I didn't know something as simple as saying "I miss you" and asking "Do you miss you" would bother me this much. Especially when that was all I wanted to hear/see is that you miss me. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy and very much so appreciate the I love you's, but some days I just would like to hear a little something extra. Not all the time, it just hits me every now and then. I already don't get compliments like that anyway. I didn't ask for much. At least I didn't think I did. I need to hurry up and get new friends quick. I don't even know why I let this bother me. Maybe because I'm doing the right thing. Maybe I'm just not doing everything right. Maybe I still call too much or text too much. I'm not complaining about being lonely or bored or anything. I actually like what's going on in my life, even though it's crazy busy. But whatever, my girl brain is thinking too much into it. I typed it up and I'll leave it all on the screen. Once I close out of this I won't think about it anymore. But I do know that I'll work on decreasing my emotions.

Putting my dream into action

For so long I've been dreaming of helping people with nutrition. I've had a lot of bumps and road blocks to push through. I graduated with a B.S. in Nutrition and then I was told that's not enough. I became a straight A student who couldn't get into a Dietetic Internship. I applied for 3 years straight with no luck. But maybe that happen for a reason. Working at WIC made me realize I possessed a wonderful gift in counseling. I obtained a true passion for helping those who needed guidance with getting their life in order. Not just with healthy eating, but financial, housing, jobs, education, family planning, etc. This is what I enjoy and this is what I plan to do in the future. Going back to school to get my MSW is a great move and will help me reach my goal, I know it. Until then I realized that I can still do some small work on the side until I graduate. And so I brainstormed and came up with this:

Providing general non-medical nutrition information

What I CAN do for you:

1)      Cooking demonstrations

2)      Provide info on recommended amounts of essential nutrients for a healthy individual (Dietary Guidelines for Americans)

3)      Provide information on healthy eating and healthy snacks

4)      Discussing carbs, proteins, fats, vitamins, minerals, and water as essential nutrients required by the body

5)      Providing non-fraudulent information about nutrition contained in foods/supplements

The nutrition info I can provide is non-medical and based on scientific recommendations for a healthy population.  Clients with medical conditions will be referred to a licensed dietitian/nutritionist or other medical professional. 

That's pretty much the bones of it. Still need a name and a title for myself. I can't legally call myself a nutritionist once I leave my job at WIC (which is this coming friday!!! WOOOO!!!). I don't like that rule, but the good ol' state of North Carolina told me I can't. Coming up with a job title is going to be difficult. Can I call myself a food coach? If I can, that'd be freaking awesome. I like coaching and I like food. Let's see what I can come up with on the title "Food coach".

According to U.S. News I can, but they bring up a good point. There are so many people calling themselves a nutritionist, food coach, or whatever and giving people stupid and very false information. You have to give them the science of it, especially if you're not an RD. If you're not an RD you can ONLY give information from scientific publications and studies such as the one I listed, the Dietary Guidelines for Americans. The NC board of Dietetics/Nutrition says you're in compliance when, "The person provides nonfraudulent nutrition information which is based on scientific reports and studies, or not false or misleading, and is safe." When I do start working all of this out I will continue to stress that I AM NOT A REGISTERED DIETITIAN and I CAN NOT GIVE OUT NUTRITION ASSESSMENTS. I refuse to get in trouble with any board of dietetics/nutrition from any state. 

So just to clarify:

DO NOT ask me to count your calories

DO NOT ask me for a weight loss plan

DO NOT ask me for a meal plan or counseling for any type of disease (diabetes, hypertension, hyperthyroidism, etc.)

There are a couple more things I can't do, but I don't want to focus on that. I prefer to think about the things I CAN do for people. 

Research in progress....

Some things still haunt me...

It's hard to shake some things off and erase them completely from your memory. All you can do is be thankful for second chances and work towards a better future. For those of you who can honestly wake up and not think about it even once and be happy....you're unreal.

Awesome song

Yes!

So I've come to a lot of conclusions about my blog. I attempted to first give it a theme of some kind, but that just didn't work. I even gave it a different title at first. I think my blog is more like the way I think, very all over the place and ADDish. I think I was trying to do the traditional thing and have themes but that doesn't seem to work will for me. It makes it harder for me to write when I try and make it that way. I really do treat this more like a diary. But I think that's ok. I mean, it is MY blog. I can do whatever I want with it.

Wrestling!

Anyone who knows me knows that I am big on fighting, wrestling, and pretty much anything that gets my adrenaline pumping that deals with some kind of hand to hand combat.

Yes, that includes thumb wrestling.

Well, it just so happens that I have the coolest boyfriend EVER! Because he likes it, too. He's been doing the wrestling thing WAY longer than I have and is more knowledgeable on it, so he's like the master and I'm the student. So we basically watch the shows on a regular basis now, and I love it! It's like a soap opera....but with sweaty men who walk around in panties and crazy females (guess it's the same if you really think about it). I'm hooked to it three times a week, Monday, Thursday, and Friday! I'm a mess. I get really into and start hating characters and fuss at the TV. Some people just watch shows to make their significant other happy. I do it so I can learn the different submission moves so I can try them out on friends, family, and my pets. Yes, it's sad, I know. But I love it! The Beard (my boyfriend) came up with some awesome wrestling names for me, and I think I'll use one for my new Twitter name. Run_Ashley_Run isn't that creative and it's getting old. So here are the names: Asata (WWE), Afeni (TNA), and Ashley Flames for Indy. The last one has to grow on me but the other ones are really cool. I feel like I should name someone/thing Afeni, just because. I'm putting that in my mental notebook. So yeah, wrestling is awesome. The Beard is awesome. I'm awesome. And apparently, this guy is awesome, too: 

He's so not awesome, though.

I will also leave you with a pic of my favorite wrestler and my catchphrase...

Randy Orton! "Everybody get some!"

                                                 

                                                                                                         
                                                 

Kind of weird

Watching Locked Up Raw and I saw a man who acted and sounded a lot like the worst person I've ever met. It's scary. I felt shivers as I listened to that guy's interview. There are more guys out in the world like him and that really concerns me. While I'm so blessed and over joyed to be done with that chapter in my life, I'll never forget the things I've heard and seen. God has saved me and given me a chance to do better and surround myself with better people. Thank God.

What I learned in class today was...

Absolutely nothing! Because I don't have classes yet!

But seriously, a couple of things went down today. (1) I taught an awesome breastfeeding class today. It was my first time EVER and I freaking nailed it! They told me I need to come back and teach every class : ) That's freaking awesome! But I do know more than I feel I do, I just need to build my confidence up a little bit.

Double Teaming the Boobs

(2) I saw a whopping 4 clients today! Now THAT'S epic! Lol, no not really. I normally average 12-14 clients daily. I got a rest from speaking in Espanol today, I spoke in English total dia : ) When my coworkers began asking me a butt load of questions I broke out into a song in the middle of the clinic. It kind of sounded like this (the only Spanish I spoke):

(3) I supervised and talked to clients all day setting people straight. I was THA BOSS. And it SUCKED! Supervising a bunch of older women who act like they're 6 and taking care of clients who are angry for reason is sooo tiring. I'm normally pretty good at leading, but I seriously had some issues with this today. I know I need more experience but this isn't the best environment to practice in. But I guess I have no choice with people being out. They almost made me completely lose my mind, but then I thought about. I'm better than this. If they don't want to help make things better than that's fine. I can get it done with help from others. I need to play this song first thing in the morning at work for all of my coworkers:

I'm starting school in August, with or without them, so it's whatever. I'm gunna enjoy getting the rest of this money and doing what I love doing. Prayer got me through today and I know it'll get me through tomorrow. I'm determined to have an awesome day tomorrow.

Hey!!!

This is dancing in undies music!!!! : )

Growing Up

It doesn't actually take a lot to grow up, the timing just needs to be right. There have been some times where I've said, ”Ok, I've def grown up from this.”,  but I wasn't fully grown up from it yet. Everyday I learn something new about myself and different things around me.
I think yesterday I fully grew out of on being selfish. While I still don't prefer to be alone, it doesn't send me into a spiraling depression like it used to. I still don't have many friends to talk to or visit but I don't cry about it anymore. I suck it up and either go out and enjoy a movie on my own or just chill in the house on my own. But the one thing that I really realized yesterday is that when the one I love the most is upset I don't think about how he isn't talking to me 24/7. I'm more concerned about him telling me how he feels and coming to me for comfort. The reason I get upset isn't because he's not giving me attention like a little spoiled girl, it's because he doesn't want to come to me when he's upset. I do understand why for some of it though, I'm somewhat of the problem. I feel as if I've definitely failed him as a girlfriend. I'm supposed to be his rock. His go to friend. The one person he can trust. If he couldn't go to anyone he should feel comfortable enough to come to me. But I've let him down. I realized that on Monday the reason I was so down was because he was unhappy. I totally forgot about my issues and was so stuck on him. I've hurt someone that I love so much. He's hurting right now and I can't do anything to help comfort him. That's what bothers me the most. I prayed for him for a while last night because I feel at least can do that for him. I am a woman who prays and prayer and God can fix anything and He's always there for us. If I can't do anything else right now, I at least owe him that.

Morning Vent

I just want everything to be ok. I want everything to go back to the way it used to be. I'm so tired of this emotional rollercoaster. I wish it could be so simple to just say, "Ok, let's move on and work towards a better relationship" or "This isn't going to work, we need to break up". I'm not a big fan of slowly ripping the band-aid off at all. I don't like slow and painful anything. I like to rip the band aid off as fast as possible. I know not everyone works like that, and I can't even get mad at that. We all work differently. But I don't understand what's going on and you won't let me in. And it hurts so bad to hear you (or not hear you because you just sit on the phone in silence) when you're down. Part of me feels that way because I blame myself for how you feel. I know you have more than just our relationship to worry about, but when I talk to you and you don't tell me anything that's going on that's just what I assume. I know assuming can be bad, but that's just where my mind wonders to. You don't let me know anything that's going on at all. And I don't get it. I want to help you out. I want you to be happy. Maybe it's something that I just can't fix, but I want to be there to atleast let you vent or allow you to lean on a shoulder. Last Monday, my heart was filled with joy to talk to you and hear how happy you were. Last night felt so painful. I try my hardest not to let it show because the last thing I want you to be thinking about is how emotional I'm being along with whatever is bothering you. I've done a lot of spring cleaning within myself. I've been working on so much to make things better. Has the damage been too much for me to save things?Is it that unforgettable?What do you want me to do?I know you want a break and you don't want to talk, but then you have these moments where we talk on the phone it feels so refreshing and then the next day you don't want to talk or have nothing to say and you're cold again. What do you want me to do?I want to make you happy, but not at the expense to making a fool out of myself. I think I just need to cry it out.

I went to sleep with teary eyes and woke up this morning with teary eyes. Your mood affects mine. You have such a big impact on my life and my day. Work has been a drag. I've been trying to hide it but they can still see it in my face. I know I have to move on, but it's way more difficult than I thought.

Made me think of us...

...only he wouldn't be in the hospital...

I Reminisce

While I was leaving church I was thinking about things we used to do. Like when he used to come up to see me and had coupons clipped out for me in a baggy. Or when we used to stay up and watch Adult Swim EVERY Saturday. I remember when we talked over twitter about shows we missed. Just thinking about all of that makes me remember how much he really is my best friend. Like, I don't think I've ever had a best friend as great as him. Everyday I don't talk to him hurts. I remember when we used to talk from 9pm until 4am. I remember the roses I got for our 1 year anniversary. Now, I'm left wondering is he thinking about me? I remember when he came over and stayed with me for the first night, helped me bathe, and laid beside me and waited for me to fall asleep as he whispered "I won't ever let anything bad happen to you." I'll never forget that. It was like a movie. It made me smile when I thought about that night when he went to red box and got Date Night and Shutter Island and ate chinese food with that nasty four loko. I want to go back to that. Why can't we go back to that? That time he came up on his birthday and surprised me at my front door with his cake in his hand. I cried that night because I was so happy and had spent that whole day alone. He came to spend his birthday with me and make me happy, too. I pray that we get back to the good old days or somewhere close.

I need a moment

Since I can't talk or text you I'm writing something on here that you probably won't see:

I don't understand what I'm supposed to do. I feel like everyone's where they need to be at but me at times. I just don't get it. I don't even know what to do about this thing anymore. How are things supposed to get better if we don't communicate our feelings? I may not understand everything you're going through, but I just feel like as your girlfriend I'm here to make you feel better. I'm here to let you vent. Even when things are rougb between us, the least I could do is let you blow some steam off rather than suppressing everything. I have to guess at how you feel and pray you're feeling fine. We're already 425+ miles away from each other. You have more than enough space to yourself. When you don't want to talk, what do you do? Don't call or text. When you don't want to see me what do you do? Not a damn thing because I'm nowhere near you anyway. You have all this space and time. I call every other day to check on you because I want to make sure you're feeling ok and because I miss you. I get that you're confused. I really do. But the one thing thag shouldn't be an issue for you is space and me not giving you a proper break. You call and text me just as much as I call and text you. If you want a real break then just break up with me. Screw what anyone else is telling you about there being so many other girls up there for you or whatever they tell you. I'm guessing that's not your thing because you haven't acted on it which is fine.  It's clear you want to be with me, you've even told me yourself. I don't know maybe I'm just having a moment. I want you to know how I feel. I want you to know everything. But karma is a bitch and she's sittin real cozy beside me right now. I want things to be ok. I just don't know what to do to get your mind away from that situation. Maybe it's just time. Time heals all wounds. It's been a little over a month since this happened. You clearly need more time. Well that's fine, but don't expect me to just leave you alone. I love you way too much to do that. And I will continue to fight for you. Even when I'm upset or pissed off like now. No matter what you better believe I'm not going anywhere. I know you're the one and even if I have to vent every weekend about this on here until things are fine, then so be it.

"You betta fight!"

For the past week I've had the same 3 women talk to me about my relationship. Now, 2 out of 3 of these women know what's going on. I'm not sure about that 3rd one, but you never know. But they all keep telling me the same thing. "Fight for your man!" Evidently, what I'm doing now is not enough and it's not going to get me far...as per my lady friends. At first I just listened to them and kind of brushed it off, but the more and more I hear from them and the more I think about it, it makes me think, "Am I really doing what's right to keep my man around?" Part of me thinks, yes, I'm doing what I need to do. But I do have a part of me that thinks I need to fight harder to keep my man...well, not to "keep" him, I guess I mean to make the situation better? Ehh, I know what I mean I just can't put it into words. As long as I get it, that's all that matters. I guess the one thing I keep asking myself is, what do I do? How am I supposed to "fight" for my man? It sounds like a good idea when they say it, but what do they actually mean? Up until now I've been to myself about a lot of this, but I'm starting to think I need to talk to someone about this. I've been getting some crazy feedback from friends since I stopped telling them what's been going on and I think it's funny. I disagree with a lot of what one of my friends has been telling me. It's hard to take advice from someone who's on their 3rd marriage (no offense to her, just sayin'). But I guess if you think about it, wouldn't she know more about relationships? Or at least what to look for in a bad relationship? Or just things to avoid? Being that I'm extra tired tonight, I think I'm going to take some time to ponder over all of this. I wonder what I should do, if anything at all....

P.S. I GOT INTO GRAD SCHOOL!!!! WOOHOOO!!!! Starting August 2012 I will be apart of the Class of 2014 Master of Social Work Program!!!!! Yay!!! Go me!!!! 

It was all a dream...

Last night I dreamt that I was sitting on my couch when someone knocked on my door. My mom went to open the door and as soon as she opened it she started smiling saying, ”I knew you'd come to visit”. It was Mr. Everyday. He had on comfortable clothes with a bag in his hand. When he came in he came right over to me and put his hands on my face and pulled it to his. He said something to me but I can't figure out what he said. I woke up feeling disappointed and sad, because I knew that that dream wouldn't come true this time. I never knew this would affect me so strongly. But I guess that's what love does.

Missing him

While I lay here all I can think about is how happy I was with my Love by my side this same time last year. I'm thankful that my parents were able to come down and spend Easter with me again. I miss the way we watched crazy movies at night and laughed with my parents. I miss his strong arms wrapping around me to hug me. I miss his love. His voice. I miss everything about him. I just have to keep reminding myself that time heals all wounds.

Loser...

Being constantly reminded of how I need to make better friends or join a club and how sad it is that I don't get to see my boyfriend really is starting to put a damper on my mood. Everyday my mom calls and asks the same questions. EVERYDAY! This morning she went on and on about how she really wished I joined a sorority in college. She said she just knew that I'd have more friends and things to do. Everyday she asks me, "Don't you ever get tired of staying at home by yourself? If I were you I'd be dying right now." I tried getting into one while I was in school, three times actually, and it never worked. They never wanted me and I'm cool with that. Things happen for a reason and it just wasn't meant to be for me. She wants to "help me" get into a club or sorority. I don't think I need her help, I'm an adult now and it is what it is. I'm just trying to find my way and see where I fit in and I can do that on my own. It's frustrating, very frustrating. I'm trying to find my own happiness. What hurts even more is having to be questioned about my relationship on a daily basis. I'm tired of feeling pitied. I'm tired of being asked "Does he still love you?" or "Is he trying to surprise you and come up to see you?" No matter how many times I explain it or ask to just drop it I always have to hear it. Living with all this weighed down on my heart hurts way more than I imagined. Being so close to someone you love and not being able to touch or talk to them is the worse feeling ever. Almost like a punishment. But, like I've told myself before, it's what I deserve I guess. I know the reason for it and I understand it, it just hurts sometimes is all. Especially when you have someone that keeps digging in your wound when you're trying to let it heal. I'd just like to be left alone is all. 

Lightbulb!

So I'm laying in my bed reading my ”Runners” magazine and a thought comes to my head. Why not use the money that I spend going to a class I don't like going to towards 1/2 marathons and road races? I always talk about how I don't have the money to run in one, but if I cancel the class I rarely go to I'll have the money. And I'll actually like what I'm doing. The only thing to work out now is my training. How committed am I really going to be? This is something I feel like I'm gibb to have to do on my own. Although my friend has said she wanted to run with me she has yet to do ANYTHING with me. So this is going to have to be something I tackle. I have the resources. I have the finances. And I have the time. I need to take advantage of things while the time is right and get down to business. Running is the ONLY sport I haven't given up on. It's my passion. It's who I am. I'm tired of coming up with all these excuses. Now is the time for me to go out and do what I dream about at night and think about while I'm at work. It's time to show some true dedication.

Nothing else to do...

Patience is a virtue...

God is teaching me some lessons right now in my life about patience, that's for sure. Waiting for Mr. Everyday to finish law school and waiting to see if I got accepted into a program for this coming fall semester are by far the two that are really testing me. So far, I got a "Needs Improvement" on waiting for law school, but I've definitely been improving ever since. Like, my mindset has totally changed. It's amazing. I don't think I've ever had such a dramatic change like this. So I'm now on my road to an "Outstanding" with that situation. Yes, I did just use an elementary grading scale to describe my level of patience, and if you don't like it you can get a check minus (that's some middle school grading for ya).

Jeez, this kid sucked in math. This is def not my report card from ANY grade.

 

If I had to grade myself on how patient I'm being with my grad school acceptance results, it'd have to be the same grade that kid got in math for most of the year. What is a C? Like a below average? I forget. Either way, I'm sucking at being patient with them. But then again, it's not all my fault. They said they'd make their decision by March 15th and to expect to hear something after that. Am I really supposed to wait until July to make plans to go to school for the 2 years. I hope not. I seriously pray I hear something by the end of April because if I get one more notice about my loans that need to get paid off I'm going to explode.

Yeah, like that.

I have a lot to plan for to get ready for school. Like, how am I going to pay for my place. Do I apply for scholarships now? How will I pay for books? I have some people who don't think I can do all of this on my own, but I know I can and I will prove them wrong. I just need to get the OK, from the school to get things started. And I promise that when I do find out I will celebrate like no other! Maybe a trip to NY? Who knows? But really, who wouldn't accept me into their program. I'm smart, dependable, dedicated, adaptable, a leader, willing to learn, a hard worker and so much more! I just need the opportunity to show what I can do. It would be awesome to get the next chapter of my life started, but I guess just like with everything else, God will make it happen when He feels I'm ready. And I'm ok with that.                                               

"Cooke"ing up a storm in the kitchen!

I am sick as a freakin dog! And I don't have anyone to take care of me :-( But mama ain't raise no fool, I've been doing a great job of keeping myself in good spirits and full of medicine. Today, as I was laying on my couch feeling like crap, I got the idea to make something warm for my throat and that would be a great "pick me up". One thing I haven't had since I've been away from home is chicken and dumpling soup. So I looked through a bunch of recipes and talked to my parents and came up with my own version of the soup. So here's how it went:

I gathered all my ingredients together that I could find in my kitchen, I did go to the store to get the large sweet onion, carrots, and celery but that's because I wanted fresh veggies in my soup. Canned veggies work well, too.

2 lb. of wingettes, 2 large carrots (fresh), 1 stalk of celery (fresh), 1 large sweet onion, 1 container of ready to bake country biscuits,  1-10oz can of chicken broth, 1-32oz container of chicken broth, seasoning salt, pepper, poultry seasoning, margarine, and water

So I took the chicken out of my freezer on Sunday, because I knew I wanted to do something with it sooner and later, and let it thaw. It's never a good idea to thaw your chicken out in the microwave, due to bacteria that will spread rapidly due to the high temperature. You can also thaw it out in the sink with cold water running over it. The most proper way to thaw it is to let it thaw out in the refrigerator due to the safe temperature below 41 degrees. I got my B.S. degree in Nutrition so I know a thing or two about food safety.

I cleaned them once they were thawed and separated them. You can actually use chicken breast, I think may work better for this soup.

So next, I boiled the chicken in the chicken broth and 6 cups of water. Now, I think I was so used to making other different types of soups that I added way too much water. So, I think it would be best to stop at like 4.5 cups of water. That's just my opinion, though. Oh yeah, I put my seasonings in at this point, too.

Looks like too much water, this is also a shot of the pot before it started to fully boil. Lol, looks like a big pot of nothing. 

Next came the fun part! I cut up a butt load of veggies! Now, I normally hate hate hate onions! But the one thing I do know is that onions bring great flavor to soups and I'm willing to eat some onions to make sure my soup takes freaking awesome! This is the only time you will EVER see me eat onions. ONLY in soups....or by accident, lol. I added the celery because my dad told me it would taste great in the soup, and you know what? He's right! Carrots are one of my favorite veggies and I just had to add them in there :-) Their sweet taste adds so much great flavor.

All the veggies have been cut up! And I didn't lose a finger!

So I added them to the broth and chicken, after letting the chicken boil for about 40 minutes. I lowered the heat to a little below medium before adding them in.

Does it look good yet? Ehhh, it smelled wonderful!

I looked everywhere for my roller and couldn't find it :-( So I had to go and do it the old fashion way. I took the biscuits out of the container and used my hands to flatten them out before cutting them into fours. I used the whole pack, too. In my opinion, I like these better than the frozen dumpling sheets that you can get at the grocery store. They have more taste and they swell up and hold more flavor than those flat dumplings.

I did a pretty good job if I don't say so myself :-)

I added the dough in once I was done cutting them into fours. It seemed like as soon as they touched the soup  they began to expand. I had to make sure that I stirred in between adding a couple of dumplings to make sure that they all had a chance to absorb some of the yummy broth. When I first added them they all stayed to the top, but after raising the heat to medium for 20 minutes, they began to drop and mix in well with the other ingredients. 

Pow! Pow! They blew up!

After 20 minutes, I turned to stove off and let it simmer before mixing it one final time 15 minutes later. It smells DELICIOUS!!!! I put some in a Tupperware for work tomorrow but I haven't tasted it just yet. One reason is because I'm about to go to bed, and the other reason is because I just took my medicine and at the moment I can't really taste food. Yeah, it sucks. As soon as I decided to make this my nose got even stuffier and my taste buds have gone numb. 

Success!!!

She can't taste anything either :-( I feel her pain *sigh*

So tomorrow, I'll come back and actually let you know how the soup was. I should be able to tell good news. I go the doctor tomorrow and they should give me some stronger meds to help me taste things again...oh yeah and breath, that's important, too.

***UPDATE***
So I got sent home from work so I wouldn't infect and babies or kids and ended up eating my soup at home. It tastes great! It also made me sleep better because I could breath due to all the broth I put in it. If you're sick, a lot of broth is the way to go. If you're just making this because you're bored, def hold back on broth. But either way it turned out better than I expected :-D

Life Lesson #1: Worry About Yourself First, Not Others

Now, I've learned plenty of life lessons up to this point in my life, I'm just calling this #1 because it's the first I'm discussing up here.

I realized today (and somewhat last night) that I really don't spend enough time thinking about myself and how I feel. Also, I get worked up pretty easily over things and start thinking stupid stuff. I had a conversation with a doctor that works at my clinic about how your IQ lowers when you become emotional/upset. The one thing I try not to do is act on impulse because that's what really gets you in trouble. I'm also glad I have this blog, because it takes me so long to write out everything, that by the time I'm almost done I'm calmer and can think clearer. I was spazzing out not too long ago about how me and Mr. Everyday talk now. We're currently on a "break" but still talking to each other. This is totally fine with me because this time is really going to help me learn more about myself and get my stuff straight. But I get confused sometimes about how often I should contact him. Should I not call him at all today? Is it ok to text him? Is emailing him at work too much? I just don't want to over do it or start crowding his space. Just as this is time for me to think it's time for him to think too. Sometimes I just can't figure out if it's the right time to contact him. I put so much time into thinking about him and how he feels that I don't even take the time to just relax and enjoy myself. So, that's what I'll start working on first. I have all this time to get things done and enjoy myself and the people who are around me. Mr. Everyday will be there. A text or call here and there is fine, but I shouldn't get so worked up over it. Either he wants to talk or he doesn't and that's fine because at the end of the day I know he still loves me :-)

The Monsters in The Trees

I finally got my blog up and running! It took me forever and a day to figure out what the heck I was going to call it but it's finally here! I know the name may sound a little cliched, but it actually has a double meaning. I've been a runner for pretty much most of my life. And not just any old "I want to go and jog and look cute" runner I won championships and did what a lot of people didn't think I could do. Running is my passion and whenever I'm feeling down there's nothing that makes me feel better. It's what I'm good at. It's what I want to be better at.

I'm also in a relationship with an awesome guy, check him out here. He's an awesome guy and I know he's the one. Like, seriously, I KNOW. I thought I was ready for marriage with my guy until something crazy happened in my life. It made me realize I didn't know much about myself. There was so much that I needed to learn before I made that next big step. I don't know when we'll be ready for the next big step, but I'm in this for the long run. 

So now that I'm done with my little introduction, on to my first topic! MONSTERS IN THE TREES!

                                            

After work I decided to go on a run with Pumpkin (my lovely Min Pin). Just a short run. It normally takes about 15 minutes to run the small trail I normally use, but this time it took just a little bit longer. The first day of spring was this past Tuesday so that means my worst enemies are now out and about. No, not pollen. God has blessed me with no allergies. Not spiders or crickets, although they both creep me out still. There's only one thing that makes my skin crawl and makes me soooo angry!!! They're everywhere and they leave a mess wherever they go. They're inch worms!!!! They're the most annoying, small, creepy crawly things I've ever laid eyes on. They get everywhere and once you've gotten rid of one there are thousands more in the trees. Once I started approaching the trees on my run I could see the silk they made shining on the street signs and down the tree branches. As I got closer I saw them. Some we brown and some were green, but they all did that funky crawly thing that do where they look like this:

 

Ugh!!!! It just makes my stomach crawl! There's so green!!! Yuck!!! 

When I thought I was in the clear from running under the trees I looked down and saw a brown one on my leg! I almost freaked out! But I had to keep my composure because cars were passing by and I didn't want to look crazy. Anyways, as I was running past the trees and up the hill when a question popped into my head. What the heck is an inch worm really and what is it's purpose? Why on earth is something so annoying, yucky looking, and green on this earth. God made everything on this Earth for a reason so what's up with these nasty worms?

Well I went over to Wikipedia and found out what they were.

Inchworms are the caterpillars of geometer moths. That's right, baby moths! Ugly little annoying baby moths! They make their silk all over the place and eat up all the plants!

InfoPlease.com says:

inchworms lack appendages in the middle portion of their body, causing them to have a characteristic looping gait. They have three pairs of true legs at the front end, like other caterpillars, but only two or three pairs of prolegs (larval abdominal appendages), located at the rear end. An inchworm moves by drawing its hind end forward while holding on with the front legs, then advancing its front section while holding on with the prolegs. Inchworms have smooth, hairless bodies, usually about 1 in. (2.5 cm) long. They are green, brown, or black and in many species have irregular projections that cause them to resemble the twigs of the trees they feed on. Many inchworms, when disturbed, stand erect and motionless on the prolegs, increasing the resemblance. Certain destructive inchworms are called cankerworms. 

Read more: inchworm — Infoplease.com http://www.infoplease.com/ce6/sci/A0825073.html#ixzz1pthKhu9O

Doesn't that sound so gross to you? Now here's how they look when they grow up. 

 

So yeah, these nasty little creatures are making my peaceful evening run a mess. But it's cool. With the weather so nice out and with the extra day light I'd have to be a fool to pass up the opportunity to run just a little bit longer....